Home.

Normally I blog about life updates, especially those surrounding Gideon.  And I know I've been remiss in posting as of late; the truth is, life has become busy and the hours that we have at home together are precious few.  Our weekends have been packed.

But today I want to just blog a little bit about myself.  About home.

This weekend I said goodbye to my childhood home.  My parents are moving to North Carolina a week from today.  It's something they've been longing to do for a while, and they're finally making it happen.  They'll be living with my grandma and spending time with my mom's side of the family, and enjoying much, much milder winters than those they've experienced for over 30 years in Iowa.  I'm so happy for the decision they've made and I know they're eager to get going.

But I'd be lying if I said it was an easy weekend.  Time with my parents is always sweet and it's so fun to watch them as grandparents with Gideon.  But as the weekend wore on, it became so very real to me how many "lasts" I was experiencing.  It was my last weekend in that house, the house I lived in for the first 22 years of my life.

My parents' house is what, in my mind, I still think of as "home."  I know that there are lots of sayings about home... "Home is where the heart is" and "Home is wherever I am with you."  And in that sense of the word, I am at home with Nick and Gideon.  But in terms of a house, the house on 6th Avenue in Sioux Center, Iowa is home.  It's where I ripped the wallpaper off in my bedroom when I was mad about taking a nap (I was 2).  It's where I learned to cook and bake.  It's where I spend countless summers in the basement with friends.  It's where I hung the laundry out on the line.  It's where I experienced family for the first and most influential time in my life.  It's where I moved back after a rough semester in college.

So, I'm sentimental about losing my "home."  I know that when we go visit my parents in North Carolina at Christmastime, some of those feelings will be there... they will be there, some of the familiar things of home will be there.  But I know it will never feel like going home like driving down to Iowa has felt like going home to me.

And then, today, I spent the day working on paperwork, making phone calls, and doing my job as a social worker.  And as I drove home, I reflected on how many of my students have likely never lived in a house.  Or, if they have, there's a good chance they've not lived in the same house all their life.  I remember one student saying they've only lived in an apartment.  Another is considered "highly mobile" because her family has moved more than once in the past school year.

And that gives me perspective.  As much as I'm mourning the sense of losing my "home," I think about countless others who don't have a place that they can consistently call home.  Or don't know what it feels like to rip the wallpaper off of their wall at nap time, but are just happy to have a bed (or a couch) to sleep in.

So, I'm sad to have said goodbye to my childhood home.  It's hard.  But I had a great, blessed childhood where I was lucky enough to live in the same house in a stable environment.  And I'm beyond thankful for that.

(story time with Papa.  Melts my heart.)

5 months

Gideon turns 5 months old today.  It's amazing how much our lives have changed in the last 5 months.  This week I was reflecting on the things that we do now that have become habit: nursing, washing diapers, putting the baby down for a nap, changing diaper after diaper, getting everyone ready in the morning.  I couldn't have imagined what it would be like, but I'm grateful the process was a fairly easy one for us!

Gideon has now been alive in 3 seasons: spring, summer, and fall.  One website says that it takes about 5 months to adjust to motherhood.  It feels like a big step for us - he's no longer a newborn and has much more of a personality than he used to.

Here are the highlights:

• Eating rice cereal, carrots, and sweet potatoes (his favorite!)
• Loves to jump in the Johnny Jump Up and play in his exersaucer
• Loves to grab toys
• Is still fascinated by patterns, bright colors, and smiles
• Is happy in almost anyone's arms
• Is a favorite at daycare; one girl likes to sing to him when he's crying at naptime to help him fall asleep
• Sits on your lap with a bit of assistance
• Can pull himself up with his legs when someone holds his hands for support
• Loves to "pet" (read: pull on the fur) the dog
• Super ticklish on his tummy
• Loves to eat his toes (especially in the bathtub!)

Rolls over both directions (sometimes - mostly by accident!)

Trying sweet potatoes for the first time

 Fun Friday mornings with mom

What a little ham...

Friday Photos

It's been another week over here.  Nothing over the moon exciting has happened, though we continue to have a happy boy on our hands.  That's such a blessing, we know, so we're happy to just go with it!

Gideon playing with his new spoon... basically anything in his hands is a toy :-)

Exploring and getting familiar with the dog.  You may notice Holly the dog doesn't really have a choice about this... 

I can eat this furry thing?  It looks like it'd be fun to suck the fur!

Messy face after dinner

These are my toes.  I love to play with my toes.

Friday Fun: Solids!

This week, we started our little man on "solid" food.  I mean, as much as you can call liquidy rice cereal "solid."

I'd always imagined we'd be late starters with solid food.  After all, he has the whole rest of his life to eat solid food, so why rush it?  This little man had a different plan: This week, he started craving more to eat, eyeing our food jealously, and getting hungrier in the middle of the night.  So, in a desperate attempt to stop his waking in the middle of the night, we started solids.  It was worth it.

Let me just say, it's fun.  He loves to grab for the food, sometimes swallows the food, and makes a big mess of himself.  It makes me laugh!

Friday Fun

Happy fall, everyone! (Okay, I know it's not "officially" until Sunday, but I love that it finally feels that way!)  Here at our house, we have a fondness for long pants, long sleeves, sweatshirts, and footie pajamas.  Because a certain baby runs hot like his mama, we haven't been able to wear footie pajamas over the summer unless we want to sweat, sweat, sweat! So, I'm happy to welcome fall and put on some of those cute footie pajamas we've had in the drawer all these months.

We've had a great week with lots of activity - here are a few pictures to share!

Some of my fave footie pajamas :)

Finally tall enough and strong enough to be in the Johnny Jump Up.  And he loves it.  So do we.

Our little man got his first cold this week... he was a little more snuggly about it, which I won't complain about! I sure did feel badly, though, when he had 3-4 sneezes in a row.  Poor kid.  We're much better now!

Oma and Papa visited for the weekend.  We took a trip to the Children's Museum - sure to be our first of many!

With Papa at the Children's Museum

Watching daddy play piano

We also decided to invest in an exersaucer (thanks, Once Upon a Child!) - he's a huge fan of being able to "stand" on his own and make noise with the toys around him.  Plus, it gives him a great view of the puppy :)

4 months young

Wow.  Our little boy is 4 months old today.  He's grown so much in 4 months and it's gone by so fast and slow, all at the same time.  A few highlights from the last month:

• We started daycare.  The first week was a little rocky, but now we're in a great rhythm.  He's well taken care of and a happy boy when I pick him up.
• G has discovered his vocal chords.  In the morning he likes to make noise just to hear himself.  He's learned he can do a lot more than cry with his voice, and it's so fun to hear!
• G has also discovered his hands and feet.  He likes bringing any/all of them to his mouth to suck on.  They're much more popular than the pacifier these days.
• Anything within 6 inches of his mouth is likely to get sucked on.  Including anyone's fingers, hands, or hair!
• We took a little trip to Brainerd to see some good friends and get away for a short overnight trip.  G did so well!
• We're sleeping through the night consistently.  G now sleeps from 7ish to 6:30 or so, which we are so thankful for!
• G stlil likes music.  We're fans of Caspar Babypants and Elizabeth Mitchell, for sure!
• G is such a good roller from back to stomach.  He hasn't quite yet mastered stomach to back.

A few pictures for you...

Friday Fun

This week and last weekend was a great one!  We had an extra day off, plus a short little overnight trip up to Brainerd to visit dear friends and their 17 month old daughter.  It was so great to see them!

Playing with our new friend in Brainerd!

One chilly day during the week, hanging out in the bumbo :)

Loving his new toy from mama's friend Gerald.

A happy boy after a few days of discomfort - so good to see!

Most mornings waking up happy!

Playing and making noise on a Friday morning!

Friday Fun

A friend of mine posts Friday pictures every week.  I love this idea!  I'm thinking I'll do something like this, or at least regular Friday posts in order to keep me posting regularly and sharing little bits of baby G.

I will say that I'm loving having Fridays off.  4 days of work is perfect for me - it gives me time to do social work, which I love, and then I'm ready to spend a few days with my son, who I love!

Without further ado, some pictures from the week! (Disclaimer... basically, we love how much this boy smiles and take pictures often.  You're getting smiley pictures.  Galore.)

He looks like such a big boy in this picture! 

He's most smiley in the morning after a good, long sleep.  So am I! ;-)

He loves playing with daddy, who always makes him smile.

What is that thing you're holding in your hand, mommy?

He loves playing on Mom & Dad's bed.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work we go

This week marked a new era in our lives!  I started going back to work this week.  It's something I've been looking forward to, as I'm so passionate about being a social worker and want to continue doing this work.

Gideon and I had one sweet day together on Monday before I had to go to 3 days of new staff orientation.

We're so blessed to have found a great day care for Gideon to go to.  We've found a couple that provides care out of there home and currently only have a few kids.  We love this, as Gideon is able to get a little extra time with them and also spend time with other kids.  It's also 10 minutes from my work, which is a nice plus!

The best sign to me that Gideon is doing well at day care and we're slowly succeeding in this transition was yesterday after we got home and Gideon was extra smiley.  Those smiles melt a mama's heart! I'm so thankful to have Fridays off to spend the day with him and be able to get a few things done, too!

Here's my flirty little cheeseball, happy to be home with mama!

3 years and counting

Today we celebrate our 3 year anniversary.  It's incredible to me all that's happened in the span of just 3 years plus 1.5 years or so of dating/engagement.

Here we are at 6 months of dating.  I don't think we had any idea what the next 3.5 years held for us.  Blessed beyond our imagination!

And then we got married! This man makes me smile on such a regular basis.

Just over a year later, at Thanksgiving time.  What a handsome husband I have.

Less than 2 years after getting married, we bought a house! 

 Right after our 2- year anniversary, we found out we were pregnant, and I couldn't wait for my husband and love of my life to become a dad.

And then, a mere 3 months ago, Gideon Jacob entered the world and our lives.  

It's been an incredible 3 years, and I can't wait to see what many more years have in store for us!

Roll, baby, roll

I've read somewhere that rolling over isn't really a developmental milestone.  It kind of happens by accident, all of a sudden, and, well...  Who cares what "they" say.  We're pretty excited at our house that little G is now rolling over from his back to his stomach.  He's yet to master going the other way, and often doesn't really want to be on his stomach when he gets there.

It all started one night last week when I heard him in the middle of the night.  That's not unusual, as he's not yet consistently sleeping through the night.  This sounded like more of a "I'm stuck in the corner of my crib" cry than his usual "I'm hungry" cry.

I went in there and he was face down in the crib on his belly.  His arms were out of his swaddle blanket, one between the slats of the crib.  The next morning, he was on his belly again!

A few days later, I witnessed the roll myself as we were getting ready for bedtime.  A little momentum from his strong legs and he'd propelled himself onto his stomach.  He now does it often when lying on the floor, especially if there's something of interest off to the side!

This also means that we no longer fully swaddle him.  I know everyone's different about when they stop if they swaddle, but we figured learning to roll over was a good time to stop constraining his arms as well.  Here's my sweet boy, sound asleep with free arms:

Why I'm Still Breastfeeding

Last week was national breastfeeding week.  Through groups I'm part of, I saw lots of promo codes for discounts and free stuff for breastfeeding mamas.  And, I also saw a lot of posts about how much mamas love breastfeeding.

I'm going to be brutally honest.  I don't like breastfeeding.  For me, it's a means to an end.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm so happy for the mamas who love breastfeeding their babies.  I'm so happy that for some, it's a way to bond with your baby and get closer to them.  That's a fabulous way to connect with your baby.

It hasn't been that way for me.  3 months into the adventure, I'm finally nursing mostly pain-free.  We've had a lot of problems with a variety of issues, including poor latch, overactive letdown, and thrush (maybe?).  There are moments when I've thought it would be a lot easier to just give G a bottle and be done with it - that way anyone could feed him, at any time.  I think I would actually have a more positive reaction to feeding if it weren't connected to something that's been painful for me.

But, I'm still breastfeeding.  Why?  Because I can't deny the benefits that come with it.  If this were a paper, I'd start citing sources for you.  But, I'll just let you do the research on your own if you want to.  Basically, for G, it strengthens his immune system, gives him all-encompassing nutrition, and doesn't have some of the same effects that formula has (i.e. he won't be stuck on one type of formula because that's what he's gotten used to).

For me?  It lowers my risk of breast cancer, amazingly.  And, it's basically free.  Okay, we paid for a breast pump so that I can continue to nurse when I go back to work.  Other than that cost and some costs associated with it - nursing pads, milk bags, etc. - there's no other cost.  And, it doesn't require special storage - no need to prepare a bottle before he eats.  No planning on ice packs, measuring formula, paying for more formula, etc.

For moms who formula feed: I get it.  I really do.  And if it weren't for mamas that I've known who have nursed and for encouragement from places like WIC, maybe I would have gone the same route.  And for those of you who nurse and love it: I get it.  I've had moments where I've thought that it's so nice to have G so close to me.  But I'm not writing a love letter to breast feeding.  I do it because I know it's good for the both of us.

We're heading into a transition time, where I'll be going back to work and G will be going to day care.  I'm hoping we'll be able to successfully make that transition and continue pumping/breastfeeding.  Will I make it a year?  I'd like to.  Any time that I get, though, I consider a blessing.